"Yeah, seriously," Sam muttered.
"Hey," cut in the bored voice of the waiter. "What can I do ya for?"
"Well, I'll have fish fingers," The Doctor replied.
"That all for you?"
"Mm, maybe some custard!"
"Custard? We got egg custard, if that's OK."
"Brilliant!"
Dean and Sam exchanged incredulous looks at the pronouncement.
"What the hell?" They could read the words off each other's faces.
"OK, so what about you two?"
"Me? Oh, I'll have your double chili burger combo, extra chili, and a uh, large pop," Dean replied.
"Chef salad, and a water," Sam finished the group's order.
"Still on the diet kick, man?" Dean prodded.
Sam rolled his eyes at Dean's comment as the waiter walked off.
"Well, now that he's gone, we can get to the nitty gritty," he continued.
"Dean—"
"Don't 'Dean' me, Sammy!" he snapped back.
"Look, all I'm saying is—"
"Enough! You two, like a bloody married couple. What is it you want to ask me? Are you as keen on killing me as the rest of the world seems?" The Doctor cut in, banging his mug on the table. "We can settle this in a civilized fashion if you allow. So, come on then, out with it!"
"OK, first of all, who in the hell are you, really? And what are you doing here?" his voice was edged in steel.
"I am the Doctor."
"Doctor Who?"
"The Doctor. You don't know me, your world doesn't know me, but I am The Doctor. That's what everyone calls me. Tried The Rotmeister once but it really didn't stick—anyways, I am, The Doctor."
"Well. Gee, thanks for clarifying that." His voice dripped sarcasm.
"Look, he's really not that bad," Sam began.
"Thanks, buddy, we're having it between us, man to man," Dean cut him off.
Sam sighed irritably, crossing his arms and turning to look across the diner. "Fine. But I'm telling you, he's not like the rest of them."
"Where were we, oh, yeah what exactly you are and where the hell you came from."
"I am a Time Lord, the last of my kind. From another universe, a planet called Gallifrey. And if you want to kill me, whatever, it's not like you're the first, or the last. Your brother at least listens, you just…you and your guns. I know you have one there, in your jacket. But I'm not afraid of you. Know that. You don't scare me, Dean Winchester."
"OK, then, so you're a—a Time what?" Dean sputtered.
"You'd call me an alien. I presume your brother filled you in already, but you're not quite ready to believe it yet. Look, take my pulse." He extended his hand towards Dean.
"Why? You kidding me?" Dean smirked with incredulity.
"Just do it," Sam urged him, his voice tired.
"Fine, Time boy, but I don't see what this changes." Dean reached for the Doctor's wrist, prodding with his first and second finger, his expression clouding with confusion.
"I—you—what you got some sort of heart flutter?"
"No, I have two hearts."
"You what?"
"Time Lords have two hearts."
"Fine. Just….Fine. So, look, if you are a Time Lord, what are you doing here?"
"My ship crashed. Sam kindly brought me to get something to eat while she runs her repair sequence."
"Your ship? So you really are a freaking alien, what, with a spaceship? You don't secrete some—some hallucinogen to make my brother believe all this crap?"
"What? No! I crashed here in my Tardis. And, yes, I suppose in the simplest terms, she is, a spaceship."
"Dean, you saw for yourself, he has two heartbeats. How long are you going to go on like this?" Sam pleaded.
"Fine. But, you really had me worried, Sammy. It—it wouldn't be the first time—"
"The first time I lost my mind? But I'm past that, Dean. It would have been nice if you'd have believe me, just once, though!"
"Hey, hey! Look, I had to make sure. That's all. Fine. You were right, I was wrong, he's a freaking alien from freaking Galliwhoza."
"Gallifrey." The Doctor corrected him.
"Whatever!"
They paused as their drinks arrived, Dean nodding to the waitress.
"So, my brother said you hunt things."
"No, I don't hunt. I travel. Through space and time."
"So out of everything, that's what's made up?"
"Well, there are the species that have to be kept in check."
"Like? Demons? Angels? Vampires? Rugaru? Werewolves? Ghouls, ghosts, what? What do you hunt out there in your shiny little spaceship?"
"Angels, yes, I've fought the angels. Vampires once but they weren't really vampires, they were fish from Saturnyne in Venice. And the lycanthrope was quite an experience, shame, Vicky became a bit prickly after that one. Enemy of the realm, and such."
"Enemy of whose realm?"
"Queen Victoria's. Torchwood, she started the institute just to track me down. Didn't really work out though." He smiled wryly.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,517 Literary Works • 673,286 Reviews
Not a nitpick! A meant to mention that I wanted this moment between Sam and The doctor in one of my past reviews, but I totally forgot to mention it. However, you have it here, with Dean, so I'm good. All is right with the universe xD.
Time boy? Dean's just like Donna. Again, note this was a fangirl moment, not a nitpick.
How does one "Smirk with incredulity?" -insert Artemis's spheel about 'Show, don't Tell' here-
I really want an action tag or a dialogue tag from Dean after "Whatever"
Love the torchwood and Queen vick reference. Like I said, I'm enjoying the banter, but I really want something Time Lord-y or supernatural-y to happen...now...ish...
Having never watched Doctor Who in my life (am I missing something) I apologise if I make any mistakes as I believe this is inspired by that TV series. I'm sorry if I'm wrong. I also haven't read the previous chapters (I'm not doing very well, am I?) so I apologise in advance for asking any questions which you've already answered in the previous chapters.
One thing that I've noticed is that you use a lot of exclamation marks. Now, whilst this is a pet peeve, I'm just going to say that I can't stand exclamation marks. I don't know why; I think it might be because I remember how all the girls in the first form used to send texts with about a hundred exclamation marks and I haven't been able to use a single one since. Whilst the odd exclamation mark is fine, you should try to keep them to a minimum to avoid sounding like an overexcited twelve-year-old girl. However, it is your work so if you want to keep using them, go ahead.
I think that this is an incredibly well-written chapter and I hope that I can find some time to read more of your work. Keep writing! (I'm a bit of a hypocrite for using that exclamation mark, aren't I?)
I just scrolled down here and saw GALLIFREY!!! This is a Doctor Who fanfiction? YESSSS! We need more of those. I'm extremely happy about this. Okay, I'll review it now... allons-y!
I like your dialogue (especially the fish fingers and custard), but I think you should mention their actions as well. Mention the Doctor's hand waving, tell us where your characters are standing, etc.
Tiny little nitpick. I don't think the Doctor would say 'bloody'. Eleven isn't the swearing type.
Haha yaaaaaay!
Oh no. Dean Win-whatever? I don't like Supernatural at all. I won't let this change my mind about the brilliance of a Doctor Who fanfiction, though.
SO I've finished reading it, and I do like it. Just add in some actions and thoughts as opposed to just dialogues. Because at the moment it's more of a script than a story.